Attachments

On one of her living room walls, Amina has a large poster on which past volunteers have glued their photos and written farewell notes. When I first arrived, I thought they all seemed exaggerated, ("You're my mom away from home," is a common theme) especially for the individuals who only stayed with her for a couple weeks. Now, it is clear to me that these people truly felt attached to Amina because I, too, feel the same.

Living with Amina has been better than I could have hoped for. Our personalities simply clicked (she's a Sagittarius). Having had an interesting experience with my host mother in Spain, I braced myself for what was to come this time around. I hit the jackpot with Amina, however, and now I am worried for my host mom in Mombasa, as she has large shoes to fill. Amina is hilarious; she is sarcastic (definitely my kind of person) and says what is on her mind. She is a poster child for the strong, no-nonsense, independent woman. I admire that. Also, she is an expert at ignoring my pleas to give up washing my sneakers since they are only going to continue to get dirty (although she somehow makes them look cleaner than when I bought them, which is a convincing factor for her argument). Her guidance and advice for surviving Kenya, and more specifically Githurai, has been invaluable. She taught me essential Kiswahili phrases to use against persistent men looking to make it big in America with their new Caucasian wife. As life here can sometimes be frustrating, it was comforting to know she is looking out for me. The care she has for me is something I feel deeply and there's no way to repay her for that. She has indeed been a mom away from home.

Aside from Amina, I will suffer a loss from the Elshadai kids, as well. The whole week I've been feeling sad about the looming inevitability of my departure. The girls and boys frequently confirm which day will be my last and have made it clear that they are upset about my leaving a month earlier than I originally told them. We have been having increasingly enjoyable days together; we celebrated a pizza day, organized a party with balloons and cake, and spent endless hours playing at the school lot. Every day is more exciting than the last.

There are always certain people we connect with more in any setting and the orphanage has not proved differently. Five year old Nivah and eleven year old Eric I have grown very close to. Nivah is always taking the opportunity to sit in my lap or hold my hand, and when she tells me she loves me, I melt. Eric is a little man; strong and confident on the outside but sensitive on the inside. He also has a gorgeous smile (upon verbalizing this to him, he became terribly bashful about it). I realized the connection I feel with each of them must be what it is like for soon-to-be parents who adopt children (don't worry, mom, I won't come home with a child). Instead, I need to use these types of connections to motivate me to find change on a broader scale. It will be kids like Nivah and Eric whom I will strive to make improvements for in the field of human rights and community development.

When I arrive in Mombasa, I will meet a whole new group of children and will eventually go through these feelings of attachment again. Regardless, the Elshadai children will always be special to me and each and every personality will be engraved in my memory forever. When I look at photos and videos of them, I laugh at their joy, wit, and companionship. They are truly a family and one that is happy just being together. They reinforced the lesson of the importance of love and laughter over material things. At the end of the day, they are the reason I went home with a smile on my face, and to me, that makes every challenge worth it.

The Halfway Mark

On safari, I had a lot of time to think. One topic I chose to reflect on was my time in Kenya so far. The halfway mark of this trip is approaching this weekend and it is a good time to analyze the ups and downs of this adventure. 

I have been having countless new experiences which have been enriching in some way or another. I am glad I challenged myself to come to Kenya. I am also glad, however, that I did not commit to a longer period of time. Considering this is the first time I embarked on such a journey, it was a good decision to transition with a short time frame. With almost one month gone, I have already been able to identify the things I am able to handle and the causes I feel more drawn to. For example, next time I would want to focus on a specific topic, such as FGM or reproductive rights for young women. It is necessary to have a goal to work towards because it is easy to lose motivation otherwise. I have also been able to identify the foundation of frustrations I face: lack of structure, to be broad. In terms of location, I would not be opposed to returning to Kenya but would most likely choose another country first, for the sake of going someplace unknown.

Orphanage work is difficult but mainly because of my status of "outsider". There are some barriers non-Kenyans face, including language. Although most of the children speak English, like I've mentioned, it is still not their native language and I am far from fluent in Kiswahili. Cultural barriers are also present, such as difference in social etiquette. The children have many chores to perform, such as laundry, which they do not often like to receive help with. This is understandable but also leaves me with little time to engage with them on their chore days. It can be frustrating, as I was warned it would be. When I do have time to play with them, we complete puzzles, do homework, read, or walk to a nearby school to use the lot for outdoor activities. The boys and girls enjoy soccer the most. They also love to be photographed, as well as taking on the role of photgrapher.

Next week, I will be transferred to Mombasa to teach children for the month of May. This will provide me with a chance to have two trips in one considering Nairobi and the coast are wildly different. It will also aid in reducing the stagnation I sometimes feel here. Mombasa will be a more active and lively placement due to both the nature of work I will be doing and the lifestyle and culture of the coast. As Franceska will be heading home to Canada earlier than planned, I will face this new placement alone. I am not sure how many volunteers are currently there but either way, it will be exciting. I'm proud of myself for being independent enough to face new challenges on my own.

I know, and have always known, that I am a New York girl. My life there is invaluable. I love living in the suburbs yet having the option to take advantage of all NYC has to offer, which is quite a lot (although that doesn't mean I'd turn down an apartment in Manhattan!). Living near my parents is very important to me, and my pup, Zula, keeps me laughing with all her antics. I have traveled quite a bit but acknowledge there are obviously countless countries I have yet to discover. Based on the places I have been to, however, I know I could not permanently live in any of them. Of course, I may travel somewhere new one day that will completely steal my heart, but until then, I'll continue calling New York my home sweet home.

Note to Self: Don't Ask What Kind of Elephant You're Looking At When You're in Africa (It's African)

The first moment it really hit me that I was indeed in Kenya occurred two weeks after my arrival. While riding a bike much too large for my body through Hell's Gate National Park (I let them know they should really think about catering to people with short legs), a few zebras bolted across the road in front of me. In the whirlwind of dust, all I could say was, "OH MY GOD!" over and over and over. It was an incredible moment, one that really took my breath away.

There have been several other moments of this sort, specifically my entire three day weekend spent on safari. We drove through Kenya on game drives, as the sun rose brilliantly in the sky, keeping our eyes peeled for the "Big Five" (lion, rhino, leopard, water buffalo, elephant). Ultimately, we saw four of the five; we would have had to be very lucky to see a rhino considering there are about thirty left on the Mara. Aside from the main events, we saw so many incredible animals (and some gorgeous Danes). Stopping to admire the majestic views and incredible species, I felt as though I was in a volume of National Geographic. Of course, I was most thrilled to see lions (maybe it's the Leo in me). 

When we neared a tower of giraffes (as I learned is the correct term for a group of giraffes), they were startled and ran away; I realized it seemed to be in slow motion not because my TV was broken but because giraffes are graceful when running, unlike myself. Jackson, our safari guide, successfully approached the following animals to the point that we were so close I wondered if I would experience death by charging elephant: lions (Simba and Nala), giraffes, elephants, cheetahs, leopard, zebras, hippos, alligator, jackals, warthogs (Pumbaa), meerkat (Timon), wildebeest, gazelle, topi, and hundreds of different birds. Hyenas were usually only heard barking throughout the night but on our last morning, we drove up to a lone hyena dragging and gnawing on a large carcass. Fun fact: hyenas can snap just about any bone in the human body except knee caps, so, watch out.

At the Manyatta Safari Camp, where we spent two nights, I was completely disconnected (their WiFi claims turned out to be false). In addition, the camp runs on a generator, therefore electricity was turned on for only a few hours at night. With only limited outlets, those hours were mayhem. Luckily, my battery pulled through somehow, so I was able to admire the beautiful sky. I have always loved the night sky and staring at the stars so I had been looking forward to camping far away from bright lights to do just that. I was definitely not disappointed.  The sky was blacker than my mascara, which is pretty black. It was decorated with so many stars and various constellations were clearly visible. Between the serenity of the night, and the game we saw during the day, I couldn't have been happier. Oh, and did I mention we had running water? It was luxurious.

Driving around the unmarked, and ridiculously rocky roads, of the Mara for hours at a time, on three consecutive days, raised two important questions: 1. Was there a trusted chiropractor in Nairobi? 2. How was Jackson finding his way around without a GPS?  He has been going on safari almost every weekend for five years but I am still impressed and/or suspicious of his directional skills; I could really use some lessons in this department. Overall, I've made an executive decision that safaris are wonderful. And though I totally wanted to witness a kill, I was glad Simba made an appearance, even if it was a lazy one.

Kiswahili Lesson 2

Chagua maisha: choose life
Fahani: pride
Wachana na mimi: leave me alone
Mimi na wewe: me and you
Siku ilikuwaaje: how was your day
Tunakulanini (leo): what are we eating (today)
Tafadhali ni saidia na...: can I please have...
Naangalia...: I am looking for...
Umetoka wapi: where are you from
Nimetoka (new york!): I am from (new york!)
Tafadhali usiniongeleze: please don't talk to me
Unasema nini...: how do you say...
Mtu: somebody
Asubuhi: morning
Alfajiri: afternoon
Alasiri: evening
Usiku: night
Hiyo: this
Andika: to write
Soma: to read

Body
Mwili: body
Pua: nose
Macho: eyes
Jicho: eye
Mdomo: mouth
Urimi: tongue
Jino: tooth
Nywele: hair
Shingo: neck
Maskio: ears
Sikio: ear
Uso: face
Kucha: nail
Mikono: hands
Mkono: hand
Miguu: legs
Mguu: leg

Clothes
Nguo: clothes
Rinda: dress
Fulana: pullover sweater
Shati: shirt
Kaptura: shorts
Surualindefu: pants
Viatu: shoes
Kiatu: shoe
Soksi: socks
Mshipi: belt

Living Positive Mlolongo

As it turned out, my dentist has a friend who works with an organization here in Nairobi and and also happens to be from a town over from mine back home; small world, huh? She put me in touch with him before I left New York. Aside from the invaluable advice he bestowed upon me, he arranged a meeting on my behalf with his fellow members at Living Positive Mlolongo. Early yesterday, I made my way over to Mlolongo and met with Cate, the social worker at LPM. She elaborated on LPM's mission, explaining their focus on empowering women living with HIV. Since it is difficult to help a mother without helping her child, the organization has expanded to also aid these women's children through means of sponsorship, education, and health. It is important to note that they strictly believe that every dream is valid but it cannot be achieved if one does not wish to take steps to help themselves. This is incredibly true.

I spent the day making home visits with Cate. We commuted to different slums to meet with some of the women LPM  works with. The slums were in the most dire situations. The "houses" were small shanty structures made of tin and plastic. The floors were dirt. There were chickens walking on the blankets where the children slept. Despite these factors, the children still managed to maintain cheerful dispositions. Of the stories I heard, there were both uplifting and heartbreaking ones. I'd like to recount some of them now:

1. Mary* has been living with HIV for three years. However, she has not yet informed her husband, mainly due to marital issues. She believes he may no longer welcome her in their home. As she has worked hard to attain the life her family has, she has a right to remain in her home. However, her husband also has the right to know. She managed to persuade him to get tested but, as it turns out, he is negative, making them what is usually know as a discordant couple. As a village elder of Mlolongo's Zone 3, Mary often takes in children who are not hers. Aside from her children, Faith and Joseph, her sister's two children are also residing in her home. The only two people who know about her status, aside from LPM staff, are her daughter and son. It is often feared to speak about having HIV as the stigma is particularly strong in Kenya. However, help cannot be afforded to someone who is silent. Mary has been taking excellent care of herself and receives about five months worth of medicine each time she returns to the doctor. She says she feels strong.

2. Karen is another village elder of Zone 3 in Mlolongo. It was only recently that Karen found out about her positive status. She is married to a Pastor and they live in a house afforded them by the Church. She has one daughter, Phoebe. Karen also cares for George, her sister's nine year-old. George does very well in school, which will hopefully motivate Phoebe to improve her grades, as well. It is particularly imperative for these children to excel in their classes so that they have a better chance of getting sponsored. George is under Karen's care because her sister was the victim of domestic abuse by her husband. She divulged that her sister's husband had turned violent on two occasions before their mother removed her from that environment and brought her to live at her house. Karen's sister's attack last year left her disabled to an extent. The burns she received on her body limit her from performing any strenuous movements or activities that require long periods of standing. Being unable to properly care for herself, she is even less able to also care for her son. Although a case was opened against the man who committed these heinous acts, no one has followed up. It is important to keep up with such cases so that proper justice can be reached. In addition, if the man ever came back to claim his son, which he technically has a right to do, there would be no documentation of his violent behavior and would be allowed custody of George.

3. At twenty-two years old, Stacy has already been through a lot. She is one of twelve children and has three of her own, with another on the way. She has been positive for five years. Luckily, her children do not have HIV. She feels frustration and pain due to her mother's alcohol abuse. Her mother and father fail to provide the necessary care and affection to their children, which strongly affect the entire family. They have married off daughters with intentions revolving around money. They tell their children to work and give her their income, which she will ultimately spend on becoming intoxicated. Although her children have attempted to address the issue with her, the situation does not change. Stacy has tried to leave home several times, but always returns. One of her sons has a protruding hernia stemming from his belly button. It is painful and aesthetically displeasing; both are reasons he cannot attend school. Since money is squandered in Stacy's family, she is trying to find another way to afford the operation her son must undergo. Unfortunately, she has not been able to get work yet, partly due to her pregnancy. There is a hospital that performs free operations, which she hopes to get her son admitted to.

*All names have been changed.

Meeting with Stacy put me in shock; we are the same age. It is incredible how differently two people can spend twenty-two years.

Thank you LPM for the opportunity to meet with women who challenge, not only HIV, but the stigma that goes with it. The women who dare to break the circle of poverty and shame are the ones who will truly change the world and inspire others to do the same.