As it turned out, my dentist has a friend who works with an organization here in Nairobi and and also happens to be from a town over from mine back home; small world, huh? She put me in touch with him before I left New York. Aside from the invaluable advice he bestowed upon me, he arranged a meeting on my behalf with his fellow members at Living Positive Mlolongo. Early yesterday, I made my way over to Mlolongo and met with Cate, the social worker at LPM. She elaborated on LPM's mission, explaining their focus on empowering women living with HIV. Since it is difficult to help a mother without helping her child, the organization has expanded to also aid these women's children through means of sponsorship, education, and health. It is important to note that they strictly believe that every dream is valid but it cannot be achieved if one does not wish to take steps to help themselves. This is incredibly true.
I spent the day making home visits with Cate. We commuted to different slums to meet with some of the women LPM works with. The slums were in the most dire situations. The "houses" were small shanty structures made of tin and plastic. The floors were dirt. There were chickens walking on the blankets where the children slept. Despite these factors, the children still managed to maintain cheerful dispositions. Of the stories I heard, there were both uplifting and heartbreaking ones. I'd like to recount some of them now:
1. Mary* has been living with HIV for three years. However, she has not yet informed her husband, mainly due to marital issues. She believes he may no longer welcome her in their home. As she has worked hard to attain the life her family has, she has a right to remain in her home. However, her husband also has the right to know. She managed to persuade him to get tested but, as it turns out, he is negative, making them what is usually know as a discordant couple. As a village elder of Mlolongo's Zone 3, Mary often takes in children who are not hers. Aside from her children, Faith and Joseph, her sister's two children are also residing in her home. The only two people who know about her status, aside from LPM staff, are her daughter and son. It is often feared to speak about having HIV as the stigma is particularly strong in Kenya. However, help cannot be afforded to someone who is silent. Mary has been taking excellent care of herself and receives about five months worth of medicine each time she returns to the doctor. She says she feels strong.
2. Karen is another village elder of Zone 3 in Mlolongo. It was only recently that Karen found out about her positive status. She is married to a Pastor and they live in a house afforded them by the Church. She has one daughter, Phoebe. Karen also cares for George, her sister's nine year-old. George does very well in school, which will hopefully motivate Phoebe to improve her grades, as well. It is particularly imperative for these children to excel in their classes so that they have a better chance of getting sponsored. George is under Karen's care because her sister was the victim of domestic abuse by her husband. She divulged that her sister's husband had turned violent on two occasions before their mother removed her from that environment and brought her to live at her house. Karen's sister's attack last year left her disabled to an extent. The burns she received on her body limit her from performing any strenuous movements or activities that require long periods of standing. Being unable to properly care for herself, she is even less able to also care for her son. Although a case was opened against the man who committed these heinous acts, no one has followed up. It is important to keep up with such cases so that proper justice can be reached. In addition, if the man ever came back to claim his son, which he technically has a right to do, there would be no documentation of his violent behavior and would be allowed custody of George.
3. At twenty-two years old, Stacy has already been through a lot. She is one of twelve children and has three of her own, with another on the way. She has been positive for five years. Luckily, her children do not have HIV. She feels frustration and pain due to her mother's alcohol abuse. Her mother and father fail to provide the necessary care and affection to their children, which strongly affect the entire family. They have married off daughters with intentions revolving around money. They tell their children to work and give her their income, which she will ultimately spend on becoming intoxicated. Although her children have attempted to address the issue with her, the situation does not change. Stacy has tried to leave home several times, but always returns. One of her sons has a protruding hernia stemming from his belly button. It is painful and aesthetically displeasing; both are reasons he cannot attend school. Since money is squandered in Stacy's family, she is trying to find another way to afford the operation her son must undergo. Unfortunately, she has not been able to get work yet, partly due to her pregnancy. There is a hospital that performs free operations, which she hopes to get her son admitted to.
*All names have been changed.
Meeting with Stacy put me in shock; we are the same age. It is incredible how differently two people can spend twenty-two years.
Thank you LPM for the opportunity to meet with women who challenge, not only HIV, but the stigma that goes with it. The women who dare to break the circle of poverty and shame are the ones who will truly change the world and inspire others to do the same.
